Well, seeing as I have been snowed in all day and starting to catch the ol' cabin fever, I may as well get blogging!
First off, I'm over online dating right now. I'm tired of email banter and blind dates, so I'm taking a break.
Second of all, I'm homesick. I want to go home for an undisclosed amount of time. I have a good chunk of time off this month and am planning on going home to sort my shit out. And I'm kind of thinking I may want to stay for a little while, like a few months max. I'm in a lost puppy phase right now. Don't know where I want to be, but do know it's not couch surfing for much longer. But in order to go home, I have to transfer out of Denver, cuz that commute is a bitch I don't want to know.
Ok, now it's story time. So, my last trip I flew with a girl who was good friends with my ex boyfriend. Not the one I'm always whining about. Before that one. He's a pilot, we met on a trip, dated for 1 1/2 years then broke up. This guy was super duper fun, really sarcastic, and drank like a pirate. I'm not sure if that's even a thing people say, but Pirates of the Caribbean is on right now and it seems fitting. Anyway, in addition to all those things, he was insecure and always mad at me, with a dash of crazy every now and then. It was one of those crazy moments that made me end things with him once and for all. And he, in my mind, has hated me ever since. The last time I spoke to him was not long after we broke up, I saw him in the airport and was really excited about it. I nervously marched up to him while he blank stared at me and told his cell phone he'd call it back.
I tried to make small talk and he played along for about 10 seconds before he turned around and walked away from me while I was mid-sentence. I was devastated. I wrote him an email after that and maybe a text message and he never responded. So after that, when we would cross paths in the airport we either ignored each other or gave a simple head nod or uncomfortable wave.
So now I found myself on a 4 day trip with a girl who was good friends with him when we dated. We never met, but I heard about her all the time, and she hooked up with him before we met and would occasionally call him real late at night. And me and this girl really hit it off! We had a blast actually. And she tells me some things about my ex. The main, awful thing being that both of his parents passed away this past year and within a month of each other. This knocked the wind out of me. For anyone to go through that is unthinkable, but this was someone I cared about, lived with. I mean, I knew them. It breaks my heart. I can't stop thinking about it.
Now I'm faced with this: what do I do? Am I allowed to reach out to him? I want so much to write him, send my condolences, but is that what he would want? It's been 3 years since we broke up, he has a serious girlfriend, you would think he's let go of his disdain for me, but what if he hasn't? If he hasn't then is it messed up to send an email about something so sensitive? But it also feels messed up to know this and not say anything at all. I've been really torn about this. Any suggestions are welcome.
The other, much less important, thing is his current girlfriend. I found out pretty much right when I got out to Denver who he's dating. I forgot to mention he lives in Denver and has since I met him. Anyway when I heard who it was, my jaw hit the bar.
Before we started dating, he had been casually seeing another flight attendant. Apparently she wanted to be his gf, and he didn't want her to be. According to him, she was unattractive, a butterface with no boobs at best, unable to hold her own when out in a group, and they got in a blowout fight in Hawaii and she left him there. His story was that she was mad he wanted to read on the balcony all day, so she went out and got wasted with some dudes on a business trip. When she got back to the room they had a big fight, and she called security because she was afraid of him. She packed up and left right then.
Well, this girl I just flew with tells me the real story is the girl came back from Hawaii and was telling everyone at our airline that he had hit her! And that she had a black eye to go with her story! Who knows what to believe, but the point is, that is who he is now dating! And they live together! The way he talked about this girl to me, I can't believe it. She contacted him a couple times when we were together, and he just ignored her. I'm pretty sure he rebounded to her after we ended, and it stuck. The other interesting thing is that when we were together he was hard up to get married, talked about it all the time. They've been together over 2 years, and no ring yet. Just sayin. But, again, this pales in comparison to the other news.
Ok, I'm thinking about possibly going to Paris next week to see "Friendly Date?"'s band play. And to like hang out in Paris of course :) Yes, I'm referring to car-makeout-guy. His band is touring Europe at the moment and he's been bugging me to hop on a plane and come meet him, and I've been thinking about it. What do you think? The other options are to meet my parents in Maui for a few days, or just go back to Jax and nest and go stay with my grandma in amelia island. I mean I'll go see G-ma regardless of which plan is enacted, I have over a week off. So there you go.
This blog is making me feel a little funny. I think I sound shallow jumping from death to my petty life gossip, and I don't mean to. I've been thinking about that news every day, but am also trying to fit in everything that's happened this past week. So forgive me if I sound insensitive, its not how I feel.
Also, I love reading your comments so keep em coming! And I'm enjoying trying to figure out who all you "Anonymous" commenters are :) Who are you?? Haha...til next time...
JES
