Ello Gov'ner!

Well, I just got back from visiting my brother and sister-in-law in London. It was a last minute trip, and I only had 3 days off so it was short, but it was worth it. I had so much fun!

After a very comfortable flight in business class, I landed around 11am and was at my brother's apartment by 1. When I got there, my brother, N, yelled "Who is it??" through the door and made me wait like 5 min before he answered, so I thought he was having a surprise party for me. But, no, he opened the door in his boxers, and was clearly fresh out of the shower. Which was something I desperately needed, so I took one. N yelled at me for singing in the shower, I yelled at him for trying to wear pleated pants in my presence and then my sis-in-law got back from the gym and my sweet brother DID surprise me by having one of my bffs and former roomie from Japan, Amber, show up. She is like a soul sister to me. An amazing, unique Australian person. And maybe a little bit crazy since she used to let me cut her hair. Until one night we got drunk and I cut it and, well, that was the end of that.

The 3 of us went to the Kingston and Upton markets, checked out all the cool clothes and food stalls, collectively ate Ethiopian, Bulgarian, Greek, Turkish and Indian food, then waited out the rain with whoopie pies they made me eat (no one respects a diet anymore) Before heading out to meet my friend Gligor for drinks.

I met Gligor about 6 years ago in Thailand. I was staying in a thatched bungalow on the beach on the island of Koh Chang and had bought a hammock and strung it up on my porch. I was laying in it, staring at the ocean, listening to music and feeling a little sad because my friend, Jeff, who I'd gone there to meet, had left that day. All the sudden this blonde guy in the hut next door leans over and starts talking to me from his porch. I had my headphones in so I took them out and said "What?" and he asked me if I was traveling alone. I said, "Well, I came here to meet my friend and we met all these people staying down the beach so I've been hanging out with them and..." He interrupted me and was like "No, I mean are you here with your boyfriend or anything?"
"Oh! No." I replied. He perked up and said, "Ok cool because there's a party at this other beach tonight and a bunch of people I met are going, so you can come too if you want."
We started talking and he asked if he could come join me on my porch and we talked for what seemed like hours. This blonde Swede was Carl, who later on would become my fiancé (briefly).

At some point during this conversation, this tan, skinny dude in purple fisherman pants comes over and asks to borrow the broom sitting on my porch. When he came back, he joined us and the 3 of us were best buds from that point on. That skinny neat freak was Gligor of Macedonia. We were all on long backpacking trips and spent Christmas and New Years together, after which Gligor left us in Bangkok and I didn't see him again until about 2 1/2 yrs ago, the last time i was in London. So, back to London....

We were all meeting at this cozy, yet crowded underground pub that used to be where the hotel next door stored their coal. Hence the bar's name "the Coal Hole". We had some pints and some laughs and then sadly, my brother, sister-in-law and I had to leave my friends to go to this concert. Aye yai yai.

When I was trying to decide whether or not to make this short trip over to the UK, N and J were like "c'mon we have concert tickets for Sunday! It'll be so much fun!" Then J sends me the link to the show and it's this 72 year-old minx lounging on a chaise and it says she's a folk singer or something and I was like "WTF is this??" Her name is Judy Collins and woah Nellie! that was a show to remember.

We got to the theatre and were greeted by a sea of white and shiny heads. We went straight to the bar. Oh I forgot to mention my brother's friend was there too. He looks like the Indian version of Jeremy Piven. And when I told him he was the Ari Gold of Bombay/Tampa he was delighted because apparently that's his hero.

So the four of us order some drinks, wait for the opening act to finish a song and then squeeze past a bunch of people to get to our seats in the very center of the third row. Those people were not happy. Especially because J elbowed one of then in the head on the way. During intermission N and his pal got up to use the men's room and get us more drinks (thanks Ari!). J and I made the mistake of not using the restroom during this opportune time, because once Judy came on, we were locked in for life! So she comes on and starts singing and I swear to God I got goosebumps. I loved it. She was singing these beautiful irish folk songs that made me want to cry. And did you know she's the subject of Crosby, Stills and Nash's "Sweet Judy Blue Eyes"?? Cuz she is! Her and Stills had a love affair and it was ending at the time he wrote it. Love that song.

So it started out great. Then I realized I really had to pee. No, really, really. And panic started to set in because I was stuck in the middle of all these people who already hate us and were huffing and puffing for even being disturbed during the opener. There was no space between these seats, folks. You have to stand up to let anyone by. I held it as long as I could then had to make a break for it. When I came back, I didn't want to go through that again, so I sat in an empty seat off to the side to wait out the rest of the show. At this point I was ready to go. All the songs were starting to sound the same and the stuff from her new album wasn't doing it for me and some mentally disturbed man in the row in front of me was royally (that's for you England) pissing me off. He kept yelling and they escorted him out, then brought him back in for some reason. Then he moved and sat right in front of me and right next to this poor guy who he started harassing and the staff kept coming over to scold him but were not removing him for God knows why not. Then I watched him grab the guys head and kiss him! That was it for me. I marched over to one of the attendants who was standing just a few feet behind me and had obviously seen what I had, and I was like " Um, he's totally harassing that guy and I just saw him kiss him!" Like what are you gonna do about it? And he just tells me that it's a difficult situation and that he has Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's? More like Terets. I'm thinking you're letting this asshole stay here and ruin the show for everyone around him because it's too uncomfortable or disruptive to remove him? I don't know but their weak passiveness made me mad and he continued to be an idiot the rest of the show. N and Ari finally went for it and made a dash to the toilet, bladders bursting, and came and sat with me after. J was so polite she held it like a pro until it was all over. And somehow through all this N managed to get a signed copy of Judy's CD and a picture with the opening act.

Then we went out for bad, overpriced Chinese food and they couldn't wait to get rid of us. Then the other 3 made me to go to McDonald's in the rain and walk 20 min for a goddam Cadbury egg Mcflurry. No, I didn't eat one. But I had a bite, it was ok. When we finally made it almost home and were dropping N's friend off, he invited us up for some mini bottles of liqueur. My eyes were saying no, but my mouth couldn't not be that rude and my brother accepted the invite, so we went. I may sound like an ungrateful bitch at this point in the story. It really was a great night! I was just tired from traveling and had to go to the bathroom and was just ready to lay down and call it a night. I'm pretty sure that guy thinks I'm terrible though.

The next day, N had to work and J and I met him during his lunch break to help him pick out a wedding jacket for Bali. Then she and I walked around Harrods (which was gorgeous!) and met Amber for some TopShop shopping, where I was eyeing a pair if really cute shorts when Amber informed me we were too old for short shorts! I don't think so. Because we all know I love my short shorts, short skirts, whatever. Plus I have long legs, so lots of things are short on me by accident. I just don't feel like 30-ish is too old and I will keep wearing whatever the fuck I want until I'm good and ready. Or get varicose veins. And then I still may not stop! As she was saying this, she was trying on a t-shirt with a dinosaur on it. I pulled the plug on that, because if I'm too old for booty shorts, you're too old for dinosaur t-shirts.

After that mess (love u Ambs:), we went to meet N and Gligor at this music hall Amber had been dying to go to. It was called Wilton's and it's the oldest music hall in the world and it has a bar called the Mahogany Bar. This place was awesome. Super old, lots of character and interesting history. Heavenly. Not to mention delicious English ale! They don't serve food but will let you order in whatever you want and eat it there, so we had some Pilipino food delivered from down the road and devoured it.

The next day, I had to leave. I woke up early to have breakfast with my bro before work then went back to bed and hung out with J before leaving for the airport. The trip was short but so much fun and so easy to get there and back (riding in business class doesn't hurt either). The only thing is the airport taxes out of LHR are crazy high. So it's not cheap to fly there direct out of Chicago on United, however it is pretty cheap to go on Delta and connect somewhere. I'll have to figure something out because I want to do this often.

I know this blog is super long but there's one more thing. My "friend" from my "Friendly Date" blog, the one who's in the band? Well, his band is touring with Tom Petty in Europe this summer and he's invited me to go to any of the concerts I want over there. I've told all my friends and people are interested in coming along (including my parents haha) and I've confirmed with him that I am, in fact, going. But now I'm starting to feel weird. Because he texts me all the time and I know he likes me because he's pretty open about it, but I don't like him like that. I don't know what his expectations are, and don't want to be an asshole basically. But I really, really want to go because how awesome would it be to go to Italy and France and go backstage at a Tom Petty concert!? Pretty fricking awesome I think. But it would also not be awesome to be in an awkward situation with this guy. I mean, the thing is, in my entire life, I've hung out with this kid exactly once. 5 months ago. And he's always trying to get me to go visit him in LA and I always say I can't and I feel like I'm always trying to give him hints that I'm not interested, but he doesn't give up. So I don't know. I know one of you (and I think I know who you are) told me not to go the last time he was in Europe because it's leading him on, and I scoffed. But now I kinda see your point. Thoughts?

Forget that crap, there are way more fun things to write about!

I decided to delete my last 2 posts just because I am so over that stuff and don't even want to give it the justice of existing. Plus I'm embarrassed. So it never happened people!

My roomate, Jacqui, was reading my blogs the other day, and goes "This is just like when we used to read your diaries!" From when I was 15, up until about 4 years ago, I kept a journal. I have at least 10. And so when I went to college, I brought them with me. Lord knows I did not want my parents or my brother finding that jackpot of incriminating evidence. Well, Jacqui really got a kick out of them.

Freshman year, we lived on the same hall and she would come knock on my door at night and say "Can we read diary?" And we'd lay on my bed and she would read them aloud and gasp and ooh and aah and say "Jes!" And I would gaze up at the ceiling, twirl my hair, and smugly elaborate on my misadventures and exploits.

My mom is probably hating this right now, but I wasn't a bad kid. I just craved excitement and always wanted to see how far I could go out of bounds if that makes sense. Which means I did some dumb shit. But have some great stories. Look! Here's one now!

So I have a friend in Chicago I haven't seen in awhile and am meeting for drinks Monday. Let's call him "Nate". We have a little history, nothing major, just little.
In college, our sophomore year, Nate lived at what we called "The Trampoline House" because, well, they had a big-ass trampoline in the front yard. Within the trampoline house lived a lot of boys, snowboarders, including my friend "J.C." from high school. We loved these boys. Why? Because they were so bad for us. Now, today, I would see these guys and call them "little shits" but then? They were the shit. They jumped off the third story of their house onto that trampoline then would bounce into the street. They'd be on that thing doing snowboarding tricks all day long. They held the "12th St. Olympics" with some other boy houses where they would do things like race each other down the hill on the nasty flea market sofas we used to have on our porches. And one of my bffs and roomies ( I never had fewer than 3), "Lana", and I each had a crush on one. She liked Nate and I liked "Cal".

While Cal and I made out one night, Lana and Nate did lots of nights, for a long time. They had a thing. But Nate had a girlfriend, and Lana was just dying for them to break up. Eventually they did, but Nate didn't want another one and Lana had plenty of other boys after her. Although, I don't remember exactly why things ended between them. Which brings us to our history.

Back in college, Nate was definitely cute. He was tall, had a charming gap between his 2 front teeth, blue eyes and a goofy smile. Rumor also had it that he had a giant horse's dick, but we won't get into that. He was alot of fun to hang out with, although not the sharpest tool in the shed. One of our fave stories about him is he was at our house and we were all gonna go up to the reservoir or something, and he walks outside, looks due east and says "We can't go to the res today, you can't even see the mountains." we were like "uhh, Nate, the mountains are over there." Like huge, and literally just to the right.

Anyway, it all started one night, way after he and Lana were done, when I went out to the bars with my glasses on and my hair in a bun. Nate got on this whole naughty school teacher thing and started calling me Miss. S__. Now, I love being in character so I ate that shit up. Pretty soon we were knee deep in classroom innuendos. I was keeping him late after class, holding him in detention. You get the idea. It went on like this all night. Yes, I know, I'm a fucking cheeseball. Deal with it. But that's how I do. Halloween? Forget about it. I'm a cop? You're ass is gettin arrested. Wonder Woman? Prepare to be lassoed. A reporter/P.I. from the 70's in a trench coat? You will be interviewed and you will like it. All real costumes by the way. And so, I was Miss S. all night long and that is how my small fling with Nate began. It had to end because Lana was not liking it even a little bit. In fact, I remember one day hiding out at our friend Camie's house all day, afraid to go home and face Lana. Camie was hooking up with Nates roomate, "Tall Saul" and we had done the a.m. walk of shame together. It was not a cool thing for me to do.
So now, in our post-college adult years, Nate and I are just friends. He is no longer the adorable, tall, snowboarding bad-ass (well he's still tall) and I am no longer a cheeky fake teacher. But we are meeting for drinks on Monday and I will be sure to leave my glasses at home.

So I guess this is my new "Diary". However, I like writing better than typing, so I had written this all out in my jumpseat on the plane between beverage services and call button dings. If this sticks, you'll be reading a lot more blogs!

College friends, what were the names of some of our other friends houses? There were the "Chicago Boys", "12th and College?" anyway I hope you enjoyed the name changes haha!

Its 8:30pm and I'm going to bed in flint, mi. after spending the day here for work. Barely slept last night and have to wake up super early tomorrow. So goodnight folks and Happy Easter!