Transitions

I have been struggling. Roger has disappeared and I have no clue why. He got sick about a month ago, and although I was not able to see him during that time, we were still texting daily and making plans. The last time we were chatting normally, he told me he wanted to take a trip to Alaska with me. I was excited about it. Then his texts became more sullen and less frequent. Then, he was only responding to mine. Then he was responding to mine the next day. And finally, we have not communicated in a week. I am thoroughly confused and sad. He seemed really crazy about me. So what makes someone go from 100 to 0 out of nowhere? We had been dating 3 months. Long enough to deserve an explanation I would say. From his texts, It sounds as if something happened that he doesn't want to tell me about. His last text to me said he was about to be "financially raped" and that he thinks about me all the time but never knows what to say. I'm hoping he finds the words and reaches out, but at this point, I doubt it. I don't plan on contacting him again.

Meanwhile I've been on a date with a 43 year old vegan businessman in Chicago, who shared my desire for vacation homes, but seemed really middle-aged. And I just hung out again with this guy I see sometimes down in FL. He made me dinner at his beach condo and we drank champagne and Chambord out of styrofoam cups while we night swam and soaked in the hot tub at the beach club across the street. I took some cough syrup, as I'm just getting over a summer cold, and it made me feel delicious and floaty. We watched some Colin Farrell action movie on pay per view. All in all it was nice, but nothing to take seriously.

This past weekend was also a girl's beach weekend with my high school friends. I had the best time. It really felt like we were on vacation even though we were just in Ponte Vedra Beach and Amelia Island, where we live and always go. This weekend was also the year anniversary of my mother's death. The crazy thing is, I didn't even realize. I actually did not know the date. I felt shitty all day Sunday, which was the day. Shitty and emotional. But I did get to see some dear people. People who love us. Dad has decided to start clearing out mom's closet so we are bringing people over to take home what they want. There are so many clothes. Flowing tunics, designer labels, and Dillard's Outlet booty with the tags still on. Dad and I had an emotional talk last night. It's been a year and things are changing. Somehow you have to adapt.

My roommate has moved out. She went from our $1250/mo. apartment to a $1.7 million house about ten minutes away. I'm happy for her, but lonely without her around. I'm looking for a new roommate on Craigslist. I have some good prospects and they are coming to look at the place this week. Reading their emails feels like reading online dating profiles. I feel excited about the good ones and ignore the weird. Hopefully no one's crazy.